Well now...Just a short message.
It seems that thanks to the whole current drama situation happening in the Mukbang community, one very important subject has surfaced again. Something which I have always thought was a very ridiculous way of thinking, and something I find very disgusting, has come up. And that is, spending money on gifts and what not on someone and expecting something in return.
Where do I begin with this?
Okay...First of all, if you have this mentality, in my POV, it is a SICK outlook. Aside from the fact that NO ONE ever owes anyone a thing. And just because you have spent some money on anyone, it doesn't give you the right to expect anything. That is an issue that must be dealt with, maybe with a counselor or therapist. Why? Because you are WRONG! That type of behavior is abusive in nature. Just, Plain and simple, DISGUSTING behavior.
I for one, LOVE gifting friends and acquaintances I care for with gifts. My friends know this of me already. I love gifting when I can. I have even taken Jackets off myself to give it to strangers who have needed them more than me. And as much I love gifting, I would never expect anything in return. It is the giving and the joy I see in the other person's face that make me happy...and sometimes really emotional as well. I have loved someone for a long time that I have lost contact with. But, if he needed me, I would be there for him as much as I could be. And, I wouldn't expect a thing in return.
To expect anything from someone whom happens to be a precipitant of anything gifted is just wrong!
And if you are reading this and you are feeling pressure to do something because the other person is expecting something...YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING THAT YOU DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE DOING, EVER. And, that person that is making you feel this way is NOT a good person at all. You do not need that type of person in your life at all. They are a toxic person who is a bit of a narcissist. That is not a healthy relationship to be in...Love wise or Friendship.
This type of relationship is just as bad as those who are physically abusive or indifferent or ignore you until they want something. These are the people you must walk away from...People you have to let go.
And THAT just hit me in the face. 😳 LOL! Funny how one may know things already but, may not recognize that they must do something until it is written down in black and white in front of them. WOW! Well, there you go, I must do some thing now...now that I have just realized something.
There is much I have to think about now and take into consideration. 🤔
I can see why blogs are such a powerful and therapeutic thing to do. very much like a diary...a public diary. LOL! But, it has given me insight into something I had not realized.
Anyway, NO ONE should make you feel like you owe them anything. And no one should ever make you feel like you are less than, EVER!!
With that said, and I did mention it was going to be a short one, I hope this made sense and I hope you all have beautiful Dark dreams. Enjoy life, love, live and "Share".
Friday, January 3, 2020
Wednesday, January 1, 2020
My POV on PNP and the LGBTQ+ Community
Well, where do I begin? This is a topic I have been thinking about for many, many years. And, if you have read my past post, you know I was part of the PNP crowd.
What is PNP? PNP stands for Party and Play. What is that, you may ask? Most people not part of the Gay community may not know. Well, Party and Play means that you would/will get high to have sex. Drugs of choice are Crystal, Speed, Coke and Ecstasy. But, there are many, many more.
Now, I have to be honest, sex under the influence is GREAT. And, in itself, very addictive. Inhibitions are nonexistent and you can go for days...yes, I said days.
And there in lies the problem. One is dealing with multiple addictions here. Addictions that make one feel like they're indestructible and getting pleasures that one assumes can never be duplicated, at the time. And, because inhibitions are out the door, multiple partners at once are common. Don't get me wrong, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG with multiple partners at all. The issue is that deceases never come across one's mind. And while HIV/AIDS have now become extremely manageable (something I am extremely happy about...fought for years to reach this goal), there are a number of other deceases that are out there. Some curable while others not so much. But, none of that matters. And, the "who" doesn't matter either.
So, with all of these chemicals being suppressed and released in the brain, this whole PNP situation is a very addictive situation. And, because it is so prevalent in the community and has been for decades before I even came into the community, it seems that it is a very normalized behavior.
Those are the issues I have seen and experienced myself. And I HAVE experienced it first hand.
As I mentioned in a previous blog, I was very much a drug user. Something I haven't touched since 2005. And I was the quintessential PNP Boy. I was well know then in all of the different Gay communities found in LA and Palm Springs. And I was everywhere! And I did everything, anywhere. Yes, I am talking sex and drugs. From well know annual sex parties, Cruising in places like Hyperion and Vaseline Alley to visiting sex clubs and bars like Cuffs and CCBC or, just the bathroom or center of a dance floor at clubs like Rage, Sinomatics, Circus and Arena. Not to mention all of the public places like Buses (and then trains), Churches, parks, bushes, cars, and so on and so forth. And, again, I STILL don't find anything wrong with any of that...so long as you are not hurting anybody and it is all between consenting adults, I say go for it. I still do once in a while, but I digress.
The PNP aspect of the community is very common. While you're in it, you see nothing wrong with it. It is a fun and exciting way to have, what you think is, the best sex ever. But, it is slowly destroying my community. And that breaks my heart. So many have died from overdoes and/or decease. Some have done drugs so much that they have permanently damaged their brain and/or sent into an extreme depression which will end up taking the person's life. It's heartbreaking.
I am one of the lucky ones. I survived and surpassed being a PNP Boy. But many are not so lucky. The thing is that the education is out there. The help is there. But, if you are to submerged in the scene to care or believe the hype that that is the only way to have great sex, you don't want to hear anything that might put a stop to the "Party". Not even a hospital stay from an overdoes helps some. They will stop for a few months and then start up again on the down low. It breaks my heart. But, like I said in the past, if you are not ready to quit an addiction, it doesn't matter who or what, you will not stop.
NOW! if you are living the "Party Life" let me tell you a few things. Sex, soon after cleaning up, is odd. It doesn't feel the same or right. No lie. That is because your body is experiencing sex for the first time again. You have to "get used" to that feeling again. And, sometimes, I have heard that you have to wait for your sex drive to come back. But, I heard it comes back again. I never really lost it. But, I have become more selective in my choices of "who" now. And, the sex itself, what some think that they can't have the same kind of sex that they had while party and playing...let me tell you that that is a lie. Sex is so much better now because I can experience it all in the present...AND remember it all as well (those in the know know what I mean). Life does improve after drugs. Sex gets so much better and without the dark possibilities that come along with the drugs.
If it were up to me, I wish I could snap my fingers and make everyone wake up and realize the harm they are doing to themselves. But, one, I need to learn how to properly snap my fingers. And second, that would never happen. All I can do is share my POV and hope someone reads it and gets some inspiration from it. Hope that I can help at least one person...that is one life that I was able to help. But, again, I know that that first step must come from the person themselves.
With that, I hope this made sense and I hope you all have beautiful Dark dreams. Enjoy Life, be safe AND Love and share.
What is PNP? PNP stands for Party and Play. What is that, you may ask? Most people not part of the Gay community may not know. Well, Party and Play means that you would/will get high to have sex. Drugs of choice are Crystal, Speed, Coke and Ecstasy. But, there are many, many more.
Now, I have to be honest, sex under the influence is GREAT. And, in itself, very addictive. Inhibitions are nonexistent and you can go for days...yes, I said days.
And there in lies the problem. One is dealing with multiple addictions here. Addictions that make one feel like they're indestructible and getting pleasures that one assumes can never be duplicated, at the time. And, because inhibitions are out the door, multiple partners at once are common. Don't get me wrong, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG with multiple partners at all. The issue is that deceases never come across one's mind. And while HIV/AIDS have now become extremely manageable (something I am extremely happy about...fought for years to reach this goal), there are a number of other deceases that are out there. Some curable while others not so much. But, none of that matters. And, the "who" doesn't matter either.
So, with all of these chemicals being suppressed and released in the brain, this whole PNP situation is a very addictive situation. And, because it is so prevalent in the community and has been for decades before I even came into the community, it seems that it is a very normalized behavior.
Those are the issues I have seen and experienced myself. And I HAVE experienced it first hand.
As I mentioned in a previous blog, I was very much a drug user. Something I haven't touched since 2005. And I was the quintessential PNP Boy. I was well know then in all of the different Gay communities found in LA and Palm Springs. And I was everywhere! And I did everything, anywhere. Yes, I am talking sex and drugs. From well know annual sex parties, Cruising in places like Hyperion and Vaseline Alley to visiting sex clubs and bars like Cuffs and CCBC or, just the bathroom or center of a dance floor at clubs like Rage, Sinomatics, Circus and Arena. Not to mention all of the public places like Buses (and then trains), Churches, parks, bushes, cars, and so on and so forth. And, again, I STILL don't find anything wrong with any of that...so long as you are not hurting anybody and it is all between consenting adults, I say go for it. I still do once in a while, but I digress.
The PNP aspect of the community is very common. While you're in it, you see nothing wrong with it. It is a fun and exciting way to have, what you think is, the best sex ever. But, it is slowly destroying my community. And that breaks my heart. So many have died from overdoes and/or decease. Some have done drugs so much that they have permanently damaged their brain and/or sent into an extreme depression which will end up taking the person's life. It's heartbreaking.
I am one of the lucky ones. I survived and surpassed being a PNP Boy. But many are not so lucky. The thing is that the education is out there. The help is there. But, if you are to submerged in the scene to care or believe the hype that that is the only way to have great sex, you don't want to hear anything that might put a stop to the "Party". Not even a hospital stay from an overdoes helps some. They will stop for a few months and then start up again on the down low. It breaks my heart. But, like I said in the past, if you are not ready to quit an addiction, it doesn't matter who or what, you will not stop.
NOW! if you are living the "Party Life" let me tell you a few things. Sex, soon after cleaning up, is odd. It doesn't feel the same or right. No lie. That is because your body is experiencing sex for the first time again. You have to "get used" to that feeling again. And, sometimes, I have heard that you have to wait for your sex drive to come back. But, I heard it comes back again. I never really lost it. But, I have become more selective in my choices of "who" now. And, the sex itself, what some think that they can't have the same kind of sex that they had while party and playing...let me tell you that that is a lie. Sex is so much better now because I can experience it all in the present...AND remember it all as well (those in the know know what I mean). Life does improve after drugs. Sex gets so much better and without the dark possibilities that come along with the drugs.
If it were up to me, I wish I could snap my fingers and make everyone wake up and realize the harm they are doing to themselves. But, one, I need to learn how to properly snap my fingers. And second, that would never happen. All I can do is share my POV and hope someone reads it and gets some inspiration from it. Hope that I can help at least one person...that is one life that I was able to help. But, again, I know that that first step must come from the person themselves.
With that, I hope this made sense and I hope you all have beautiful Dark dreams. Enjoy Life, be safe AND Love and share.
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