Well, where do I begin? This is a topic I have been thinking about for many, many years. And, if you have read my past post, you know I was part of the PNP crowd.
What is PNP? PNP stands for Party and Play. What is that, you may ask? Most people not part of the Gay community may not know. Well, Party and Play means that you would/will get high to have sex. Drugs of choice are Crystal, Speed, Coke and Ecstasy. But, there are many, many more.
Now, I have to be honest, sex under the influence is GREAT. And, in itself, very addictive. Inhibitions are nonexistent and you can go for days...yes, I said days.
And there in lies the problem. One is dealing with multiple addictions here. Addictions that make one feel like they're indestructible and getting pleasures that one assumes can never be duplicated, at the time. And, because inhibitions are out the door, multiple partners at once are common. Don't get me wrong, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG with multiple partners at all. The issue is that deceases never come across one's mind. And while HIV/AIDS have now become extremely manageable (something I am extremely happy about...fought for years to reach this goal), there are a number of other deceases that are out there. Some curable while others not so much. But, none of that matters. And, the "who" doesn't matter either.
So, with all of these chemicals being suppressed and released in the brain, this whole PNP situation is a very addictive situation. And, because it is so prevalent in the community and has been for decades before I even came into the community, it seems that it is a very normalized behavior.
Those are the issues I have seen and experienced myself. And I HAVE experienced it first hand.
As I mentioned in a previous blog, I was very much a drug user. Something I haven't touched since 2005. And I was the quintessential PNP Boy. I was well know then in all of the different Gay communities found in LA and Palm Springs. And I was everywhere! And I did everything, anywhere. Yes, I am talking sex and drugs. From well know annual sex parties, Cruising in places like Hyperion and Vaseline Alley to visiting sex clubs and bars like Cuffs and CCBC or, just the bathroom or center of a dance floor at clubs like Rage, Sinomatics, Circus and Arena. Not to mention all of the public places like Buses (and then trains), Churches, parks, bushes, cars, and so on and so forth. And, again, I STILL don't find anything wrong with any of that...so long as you are not hurting anybody and it is all between consenting adults, I say go for it. I still do once in a while, but I digress.
The PNP aspect of the community is very common. While you're in it, you see nothing wrong with it. It is a fun and exciting way to have, what you think is, the best sex ever. But, it is slowly destroying my community. And that breaks my heart. So many have died from overdoes and/or decease. Some have done drugs so much that they have permanently damaged their brain and/or sent into an extreme depression which will end up taking the person's life. It's heartbreaking.
I am one of the lucky ones. I survived and surpassed being a PNP Boy. But many are not so lucky. The thing is that the education is out there. The help is there. But, if you are to submerged in the scene to care or believe the hype that that is the only way to have great sex, you don't want to hear anything that might put a stop to the "Party". Not even a hospital stay from an overdoes helps some. They will stop for a few months and then start up again on the down low. It breaks my heart. But, like I said in the past, if you are not ready to quit an addiction, it doesn't matter who or what, you will not stop.
NOW! if you are living the "Party Life" let me tell you a few things. Sex, soon after cleaning up, is odd. It doesn't feel the same or right. No lie. That is because your body is experiencing sex for the first time again. You have to "get used" to that feeling again. And, sometimes, I have heard that you have to wait for your sex drive to come back. But, I heard it comes back again. I never really lost it. But, I have become more selective in my choices of "who" now. And, the sex itself, what some think that they can't have the same kind of sex that they had while party and playing...let me tell you that that is a lie. Sex is so much better now because I can experience it all in the present...AND remember it all as well (those in the know know what I mean). Life does improve after drugs. Sex gets so much better and without the dark possibilities that come along with the drugs.
If it were up to me, I wish I could snap my fingers and make everyone wake up and realize the harm they are doing to themselves. But, one, I need to learn how to properly snap my fingers. And second, that would never happen. All I can do is share my POV and hope someone reads it and gets some inspiration from it. Hope that I can help at least one person...that is one life that I was able to help. But, again, I know that that first step must come from the person themselves.
With that, I hope this made sense and I hope you all have beautiful Dark dreams. Enjoy Life, be safe AND Love and share.
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