Drugs and my life

OK...
Going through Twitter and seeing all of the hate and ignorant comments that are being tweeted about Nick and his situation, I couldn't sit back and not do anything. But, what could I do that would not feed into the needless arguments that would lead nowhere? What could I do to try and educate some, at least?
The only thing I could think of is the only thing I could really do...tell MY story.
So. let's start at the beginning...
I grew up in a very loving home. Raised by my grandparents and, for the first young years of my life, Uncles and Aunts. I was very loved and over protected when little. But, I still had a very trying life. I was also born and raised in the Mormon religion. I was the example many used in my church Branch as the example of what a Mormon child should behave like ( I hated that). But, I never had any issues with the other kids, ever. they understood.
I left the church when I was 17. I had many questions which they could never answer. I had also experienced a traumatic life changing situation by then. And, I had come to terms with my sexuality, which goes against all that the church teaches and stands for.
I lived a drug free life for many years.
Then, when I was 18, I went with a friend to tryout for a job he had seen in a local paper, The LA Weekly. It said they were looking for "telephone Actors". He wanted to work there and I went along to keep him company. While there, I got convinced to do the try out after they told me that I could work the swing shift, since I had a job as a Bank Teller (That was my first job) and was going to College. When my friend got on with his test, he froze, but I had no problem at all talking. I got the job as a phone whore, basically.
After working two jobs and going to school, I was exhausted. And dealing with the sick fucks on the lines, it was very taxing on me emotionally and physically. That was when a coworker told me what she did to stay awake, do all she needed to do and deal with the stresses of the callers, Speed/Crystal.
It was four days later that I asked to try it. I was amazed! I was able to do it all! It gave me a clear head and so much energy.
But, there was so much going on in that office that triggered me even more that I gave my two weeks notice and left the job. Once I left the job, I had no need for the drug. So, I left that behind as well.
It wasn't until years later, when I started working as a phone sex operator again, that I started to use again. But, it was all still very recreational. I was what is known as a weekend warrior and a PNP guy (Which is a BIG problem in the Gay community in it's self and most guys don't want to admit that. But that's another story).
Then, I moved companies and went back to the company which I had worked for all those years ago. By then, my tolerance was extremely high for drugs and alcohol. I would do an 8 ball a day on my slow days. Pink Champagne was my favorite speed. Crystal was always fun. and ritalin was used when the others, or coke, were not available. But to really party, it was a cocktail all the way. a mixture of all of them with pot and some Hashish and a few drops of acid and a few ecstacy tabs. Like I said, my tolerance was sky high.
Then I stopped doing pot, which I was a BIG pot smoker as well, because I didn't like the way it was making me feel.
During this time, I also tried Sherms, Mushrooms, Acid, and even Crack. Just to see what they were like.
Now mind you, during this whole period, the only people who knew where my party friends and party partners. Everyone else in my life never had a clue. I was a high functioning addict. Some people thought I was high when I would take my party breaks. They all thought I was stone beyond belief when I was sober.
I used for 7 years straight with no one the wiser. Then, I started getting harassed in the worst way possible at that Phone Sex job by a bunch of new employees. I did meet some wonderful people there but, they had been let go for not keeping up with the hold time required to keep the callers. I don't know about these new people, the why they did what they did. But that caused me to use even more. Then one day I snapped. I said fuck this! And walked out of the job an hour into it and I went home. On the way home, I realized that I was free and I didn't need to use anymore because the reason I started was no longer there. So, when I got home, I threw out everything I had that had to do with drugs. Pipes, specialty straws, Bullets, modified bottles...you name it, I had it and it was in the trash. including, about $800.00 worth of drugs I was originally planing to used the coming weekend. I was determined to clean up.
For me, that was the start in the right direction. But, a week later, I fell into a deep depression. One where I tried to slit my wrists. Almost succeeded too. But, for some reason, the blade never cut me too deep. They were all superficial cuts. No matter how hard or light I would cut. Yet, when I would try it on tissue paper, It had no problem cutting it. I said a few words to no one in particular and walked out of my room. When they saw the blood running down my hands, they called the ambulance. They took me to the ER and then the cops showed up. they interviewed me and once I was patched up, they took me on a 51/50. I was institutionalized and was there for a total of 8 days. Those 8 days helped me with my complete detox.
The doctors were actually shocked when they ran my blood work at how much drugs I was on. That I was still alive. And to top it off, I had no idea I had an irregular heartbeat then either. Basically, it was a shock to everyone that I had survived what I did. And that, even though I had not done drugs in over a week, they were still in my system.
But, I survived and I have never touch the stuff again. That was on March 5, 2005 when I stopped using.
Now, during this whole time that I was using, I put myself into very scary situations. Not that that mattered to me. I saw many friends pass away from overdoses and trying bad shit. I saw other end up with mental issues and more take their own lives. None of that stopped me. Nothing or no one could have ever stopped me until I decided to do so. No amount of peer pressure or care or "LOVE" could have stopped me from using.
Unless you have lived it or have been next to someone who has, you will never know what it's like. You can judge from your holier than thou point of view but, You have no right to do so. And when one talks on an issue where they have no knowledge about just because you have heard about this, or have read about that...unless you have sat down and had an honest conversation with an ex addict, or even better yet, with an addict, you have no right to open that trap.
I am one of the lucky ones. I survived. And I have helped a few other people do so as well. I have lost many friends to drugs and decease. I have done things for my friends that I don't regret. My friends know that I will walk though fire for them, and have.
The funny and sad thing is that the ones who judge the hardest are the ones who are either religious or know nothing about what they are judging. Why I don't trust those who are extremely religious. They are some of the most hate filled and most judgmental people in existence. I am very Spiritual.
And besides, as that saying goes, "Religion is for people who are afraid of hell. Spirituality is for those who have already been there"
No one can stop these people from judging. No one can teach them compassion or empathy. But, Karma, The Higher Power, Our Heavenly Father or whomever or whatever you believe in, ALWAYS has a way of teaching you.And teaching you with the same hand that you used to point at someone else.
Also, remember, Those that get up after being beat down are the strongest people. The ones you have to watch out for.
Well, that is the short version of the drug aspects of my story. And my POV on those who talk of other to shame and to try talk down to. All I can say is learn and grow. Or you can stay where you are and be that gutter snake. But, I believe everyone can grow and learn. Choose compassion. Learn empathy. Live and let live without judgement.
PS. Yes, I do block people who comment negativity. Even when it is under the guise of a backhanded compliment. THAT is my choice...Thank you.